I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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