when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
