I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
