Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
