meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
