Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Omg I joined a choir last night...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
