Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
