if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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