Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
