i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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