I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
