I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
