I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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