A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
