Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
