I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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