ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
