The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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