what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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