With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Can you repeat that, but with context?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
