Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
