I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
