I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
