Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
