i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
