my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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