uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I look better un-naked...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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