If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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