Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
