you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
And the cops told us we were all naked.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
