wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
