I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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