eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
