God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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