he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
