Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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