Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
