and i looked up. we had an audience...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
