grandma shit on top of the toilet
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
