OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
