if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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