Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
