I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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