Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
