I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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