What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
