so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
