RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
