pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
