hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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