Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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